A freakishly large shadow of fluff

So picture this, I'm standing behind the counter at work, focused on the monitor in front of me, when I notice this huge shadow ascend over my 5'7, 128 pound frame. I glance up only to be taken back by this HUGE beast of a man who appeared to be looking at some of the gaming systems behind me, so I quickly fixate my attention back on the glowing monitor and begin to type...chica chica chica...Not wanting to stare too hard at this giant man for fear that he'll eat me if I do...Okay so the huge shadow isn't moving, I noticed from the corner of my eye, so I again look at him and notice this time that he is staring right at me. Ummmm, okay he's staring at me while forcing his eyes to protrude from his sockets making them even bigger and scarier, I could see the blood vessels even!!! So raise your hand if you have watched the tear jerker movie, The Green Mile? Remember the big black man (his name escapes me) who is the main character... Edit: Michael Clark Duncan is his name...Okay, this is how freakishly large my shadow was and not only that, but he had the voice to match! So once I noticed that he was actually staring at me and obviously wanting me to pay attention I looked at him with a very unsure facial expression and asked him why he was staring at me like that...(insert nervous laugh here) He says to me in the deepest voice, which I swear I could feel vibrating all the way down to my toes and that rattled my teeth, "Just letting you know (long scary pause) that I never forget a face." After he delivered that one liner I swear he snarled at me! Well now it was my turn to do the bug eye thing! Okay, so I made the mistake of telling the shadow that he was freaking me out with that (I'm going to break you) stare and so he continued to fallow me around for the next ten minutes doing just that...Well I decided I would try and talk to the shadow rather then unsucessfully ignore him. Here's what I found: Shadows name is Jack, he's really just a huge lovable teddy bear who has been happily married to his wife for fourteen years and hopes for fourteen more. He has been out of the gym for nine months due to rotary cuff surgery where he then was hit by a car two weeks ago keeping him away that much longer. Ummm, if he's this big now, I would have hated to see him then! Jack likes to say "bless your heart" as well as eat apples with peanut butter and drink koolaid. He doesn't believe that I am twenty-four because I have the youthful skin of a twelve year old:p He even asked me what type of facial lotion I used, HA HA! Jack likes to laugh heartily, tell jokes that only he laughs at (but then you do laugh because he could eat you if you didn't) but the best part is that Jack can actually sing like Prince, BWAH HA HA HA!...So all in all, Jack is pretty cool and I would even venture to say that kids flock to him like bees to honey...But maybe just not right away:p