Blast From The Past; Livin That Country Song...

I've been reminiscing a lot about my childhood lately; Remembering the days before, yet leading up to my life altering and impending Amish makeover...These were some good years...I think its only as an adult that I can finally appreciate what I had growing up; An easier life with less stress where my only worries were whats for dinner? and do I really have to take that nap? I realize that this doesn't apply to everyone out there, and it certainly doesn't apply to every moment of my young life, and that's okay. It just makes the times that it does apply, that much sweeter to remember...So I hope you don't mind while I take us back to what this life of little worry looked like 19 years ago...

I'm the one with the widows peek snorting water out of my nose:p

This was me! Non matching shoe laces, hideous pants and all but life was good while holding that lollipop:p

I was 6 and living in probably the smallest town known to man somewhere in the heart of Pennsylvania. Our town had one main road with no stop lights, a post office and one tiny gas station. "It's a good place to raise a family," I'd hear my dad say growing up, all the while knowing he wanted to be anywhere but there...Now that I think about it, he was right...Glen Hope is the sort of place famous country singers write songs about. It's that slow town where everyone knows your name and where Mr. and Mrs. Pearl, on those hot summer days, give Popsicles out to all the neighboring children. It is full of first of the month church potlucks, American flags and grandma and grandpa in their rockers watching the world pass by. You couldn't walk down a street or side walk without seeing the childhood games of Tic Tac Toe and Hop Scotch drawn out in squirrely chalk...Between that and the jump ropes every kid owned, life didn't get much better...Summer was my favorite time of year. It was full of frequent trips to the local swimming hole, later bedtimes due to longer days, The smells of Grandad grilling while we played Kick The Can and caught fire flies by the jar. Running bare footed, I would eat my weight in watermelon while taking special care to also raid my grandma's berry bushes every chance I got:p This was the age of jelly shoes, penny candy and a time where EVERYONE drank Pepsi out of a can. During those years, kids didn't play video games or spend hours upon hours watching T.V. Nope, mom and dad booted their butts outside and used catch phrases like "Go get the stink blown off of you." My own mother used this one a lot! These are just a few of the happy memories I have. I've always appreciated that I have them, but lately I've been acknowleding them more then normal. It could be that I've finally realized I'm getting older and older and further away form theses memories. Or it could be all the recent stress development at work doing it...Either way, thank you for letting me share:) Writing about those days do a lot for my in ability to relax, Ha! What about ya'll? I'd love to hear what you remember being great as a kid:)

A must edit: Two nights in a row I've been accosted by ugly little creatures of this earth! Last night I was out walking Bella when her and I was attacked by a very white and very hyper bat, EKK! While just now I was out, yet again, walking my puppy and as soon as my feet hit the sidewalk across the street from our apartment, fifteen humungo flying cockroaches started running at my feet! NOT really liking Georgia at night right now...

My uncensored thoughts on growing up Amish...

First off, look at my new BLOG! I had the lovely Displaced Texan do it over at Addison Designs and it is perfect, exactly what I had been wanting! I told her I had wanted a blog to convey what Robert and I am about, how we met and to show how happy we are...Fairbanks/Anchorage (where we met:p) post cards representing our long distance relationship, his drill hat, dog tags, pictures of us...Little G.I Joe dolls...Sighs...I'm in love with it:) Thank you so much girl! If you don't know of her work you should definitely go check her out in my above link! Let me know what you think!

I've been debating on what to post about while downing a bowl of tomato soup and a burnt grilled cheese so during my annoying slurping and munching I decided to make good on a promise and write more about my adventures growing up as an Amish kid....Those of you who have been with me from the beginning might remember my first post on this, but for all of my new followers, here is where you can catch up...Brace yourselves:p

Probably the biggest question people would ask, when approached, is "What is is like for you being Amish?" For the life of me I can never remember answering them in terms of how it effected me personally. Instead, I would always give them facts of what we were about and what we did while on the road hopping from state to state. I would never single myself out in those conversations; always referring to myself as a unit i.e, my family and I... So this is me, putting into words how I dealt with being Amish in the real world and not in some community where you have protection. This is me voicing how I was effected and what my uncensored thoughts are on living this lifestyle; about whether it was a good thing or a bad thing; The pros and cons if you will...

Pros: You learned to have a back bone for sure!
Cons: Sometimes that back bone became too strong and very much resembled a chip on my shoulder...This came from many years of being mocked and made fun of so it was hard not to have a, I don't give a shit what you think attitude...Kind of funny when you picture me all innocent and holy with that covering looking at you like, make my day...Lol! I'm sorry for it now:)

Pros: It was a huge learning tool....It taught me to respect my body and instilled a great sense of modesty that I will most likely carry the rest of my life.
Cons: I struggle with wearing dresses now:p I have a love hate relationship with them...I stopped dressing that way six years ago and I'm just now getting to the point where I'll put one on and actually enjoy wearing it:)

Pros: I now, in the deepest sense, understand the Amish and Mennonite...Obviously that lifestyle was not for me as I do not follow in it now but I completely respect them still and want to just hug them every time I see a bonnet clad woman in the store or on the street...
Cons: The way we dressed hindered me from interacting with those outside of my family. To me, I always felt like less of a tool for God when all I did was hide from people and refuse to make conversation. Dressing that way in the normal world makes you very self conscience, especially when your not doing it for yourself. I felt like I could be more effective for God without the dress and covering; that it was easier for me to approach people and shine without it. That was another thing, you would never see my true self during those years....I was too wrapped up inside. I would not allow any one in to see who I really was...How could God work with that?

Pros: I was approached by a lot of different religions so I feel that I am sort of cultured in that way or at least that I know a bit about each one:p Religious folks would just feel drawn to you and want to talk about your faith vs. theirs...Sometimes that could be sticky but it was always interesting! However, I hated when I'd come across the people who really knew their stuff, even more then what I knew about this faith I was displaying:p No more BSing at that point:p there was a lot of finer points I did not know about the Amish as we didn't completely follow it 100%...Kind of made you look dumb because your dressing a certain way, but didn't really know why? My favorite response when I'd get stuck, "I don't know dude, my dad made me do it." HA!
Cons: I felt that because this lifestyle was a choice I didn't make, I rejected a lot of what I could have learned from it. I.E. a closer understanding of God and his Word, learning to do for yourself in the home, sewing, cooking, gardening, farming, ect...I rebelled silently at anything you would consider a "woman's place" in the home:p I was a total feminist! Actually tried to be a boy most of the time, in interests, my attitude, strength ect, always out to prove I was better and could do better then the average male... I felt that the way I dressed made me look weak and so I was out to prove them wrong...I was in my teens at this point so you understand, don't you:p

Wrapping this up I'll leave you with my final words, in case your confused if this was a good or bad experience...It was both:p But out of it all, I have to say there were more cons then pros. I just felt like I hid more as a person during those years and that was never a good thing. It has been a long road in learning to be myself and really who that person is that I wanted to be! I know myself now and am comfortable in my skin. I love meeting people now. God and I worked our kinks out. I am living life to the fullest. I can now wear a swimsuit and not feel naked. I love to cook and even have kicked myself that I never complied and learned how to sew. I am proud of being a woman and am so glad I never stayed in that boyish phase:p I love that I don't have to be the stronger sex all the time and that God made men so that we can lean on them:p I think I would have thrown up six years ago at the thought of having to say that! No joke ladies, I was that bad! I am just a more well rounded and happy person all around...However, I would do things the same way if I could do it over because I am proud of who I am and what I have become and who knows how vital those experiences were to who I am today...So heres to, wouldn't change a thing!

Where Are My Clothes!

 I think I've finally realized and accepted something about myself; That I am utterly and COMPLETELY different then most I meet in my life...Its kind of awkward and sometimes even embarrassing sharing stories from my past because they're too far out there that people cannot relate. Oh, these people are fascinated but I still feel like they look at me and think I belong in a time capsule? Maybe that's not the right analogy but you get my meaning...So, I am going to go out on a limb here to share some short versions of myself...I guess I just want confirmation that I am not from space and my home is not Jupiter:) Here we go...

1) Well at least I can say I lead a pretty normal life, up until the year I turned eight...This was a huge year of change for me. I remember it started with a name change, but not just any name change. I went from the name Becca to the name Josh however, not legally so I don't go by the anymore:) Two minutes after my mom tells me that I will no longer be known as Becca she hands me this white folded up piece of cloth...hmmm...I stared at it for a minute then looked up at her with even more confusion as I start to unfold what I was holding. It was a bonnet...Yes, a bonnet...My parents had become really fascinated with the Amish way of living and decided that we were going to adopt this life style as a family. They had apparently tried joining a community but was denied as both my parents were divorcees and this was looked down upon. So there I am holding this thing that I didn't know what to do with and not really liking the fact that they just took my name from me. Talk about identity crisis! So as I'm trying to figure this all out my oldest sister, D, comes stomping down the hall yelling at mom, "where are my clothes!" Okay, so wait, what do you mean were are your clothes, I thought...I made my way into the room that I shared with four of my other siblings and found that my parents had paid the community to sow three dresses a piece for each child with matching aprons and of course, the most important accessory, bonnets...If you thought an eight year old took this bad, imagine my sister D who had just started going to high school three days prior...The kids were so mean, but I realize now it was just because they didn't understand. The positive side to this was that you really knew your friends by the ones who stuck with you vs. the ones who mocked you. Okay, so that was the mini version, so onto the next!

2) So I was trying, best as I could, to settle into our new way of life, yadda yadda...Six months into it my dad and mom tells us that we are going to move away from the only home we knew. It was a small town in PA where my grandparents lived and, for the most part, we were all happy there. I know when I think about moving I thought you usually had to have a destination in mind, but apparently that wasn't my dads idea of moving...My dad was such a nomad and is to this day...I swear I'll write another blog about that man because his life is fascinating...Anyhow, He decides that he cannot stay in that one horse town another minute and packs his family of ten up in a fifteen passenger van. I seriously had doubts that van could even make it down our drive let alone make it to the state line. So with fifty dollars in his pocket, us kids say our teary goodbyes and hit the road. Okay, imagine this, TEN PEOPLE, one guinea pig and two large dogs with all our gear sandwiched into this van...I think anyone could have handled that for a few states until you got to your destination however we did it that way for three solid years!!! No home really, stopping off in towns long enough to make the next tank of gas and there we'd go again...Are you mind boggled yet?

Well just wait because it gets crazier! I promise to post some more tomorrow because there are tons of other crazy situations we've found ourselves in to blog about! I guess this is where I should type, TO BE CONTINUED...Don't you just hate when they do that! lol...