I've Been Noticing Thangs...

I had intended to let the day slip by, without gracing the web'o'sphere with another fabulous post from "Moi" but then I took a shower this evening and a blog post came to me... Lately I've been noticing things. Things (and I won't say that all women go through) postpartum because I'm really not sure if it's just me, stress related, or all part of the baby pooping gig.  But I've been loosing hair y'all. And not just a little hair, but brushes full, shower grate drains full!!! It's all over my bathroom floors. I literally have to sweep everyday to keep up with it! I'm seriously freaking out!!! If I keep loosing hair, at this rate, I'll be bald before my husband returns, sometime next year... Can you imagine what THAT home coming would  look like??? However, it's more then just the hair. I've been noticing increasingly aggressive hormones too, usually when aunt flow visits and right before ovulation...For the first 4 months after giving birth, I felt like one of the lucky ones because, I hardly noticed the hormone changes. I excitedly began to think my body had just chilled out and revamped over those nine months. That I was DONE with those pesky lil' things. PAHHH!  Lately it's just been unbearable and feels like it's getting worse every month...I'm seriously thinking about getting on birth control while R is gone, even, just to bypass some of this craziness! Seriously. One minute I'm completely relaxed, enjoying my day, and then BAM! I feel like I'm having an anxiety attack and the world is at large, closing in. Like today...R was given pre-deployment leave, the next 10 days, so we took advantage of our unexpected Friday together and went to the mall...We may or may not have visited Victoria Secret in search of some goodies, but the moral of the story is, I was relaxed. Having a wonderful time with R and our beautiful baby girl; just strolling along, talking and laughing and loving the admiring looks from passerby's. Or at least I think they were admiring me and my beautiful family. I mean I was actually dressed up, wearing jeans with real buttons and everything! It COULDN'T have been my tired (I could sleep for days)  puffy eyes with bags down to my knees. Or the unwashed, unkept messy ponytail (isn't that the style these days) shit show that I ACTUALLY looked like. No. Those were definitely looks of admiration, void of pity, ha!   But while I was swimming in this state of awesomeness, just strolling along...party pooper hormones came and decided to ring my bell. And I mean RING IT! It felt like I was having a heart attack, all tight and full of anxiety. Like the wind had been knocked out of me where I had to stop and take several DEEP breaths! I might or might not have lost it with my daughter later in the evening too...The only reason I escaped a colossal melt down was because of my AWESOME hubby (seriously. I'm so lucky to be married to such a wonderful man) He apparently noticed the tone change in my voice and the crazy, aggravated mom look I was piercing our daughter with and decided, best to intervene. I felt awful! Just terrible! But I guess a screaming baby is not the best environment for throbbing anxiety, where I couldn't even handle the sound of a radio, television or phone ringing. Like sharp nails on an exposed nerve, I tell ya!  But there's also the smaller inconveniences: horrible skin, brittle nails, loose belly fat that refuses to DIE and what appears to be a much slower metabolism, no matter how hard I work...Don't even get me STARTED on my new and very much UNIMPROVED tata's...  Smart lil' me quickly realized, the only thing saving this night was a brain numbing sweat session via  Shaun T, a nice hot shower afterwards, met with a glass of wine (or three) and yup. Feeling much better;)  So lets have it ladies...Is this normal postpartum shiz'nizz? Or is this stress related??? Or both... Feel free to add that,  this does go away???

Swing Your Partner Round And Round!!!

Well hello everyone! As you can see, my blogging has been more sporadic then usual, and for that I apologize; But what have I been up to? HA, not much, other then running, playing with my dog, spending time with my bread winner and working:p But I just realized I told the entire blogger world about, possibly, getting fired weeks ago then just left y'all hanging! Not cool, and I'm sorry. Things have settled down a lot with that. I'm not really sure whats different but my numbers have been way more attractive so I'm not as worried which is equaling less stress in my life:p So, thank you all for your kind words and thoughts! I think they helped:) For my new followers, if you haven't read my little "job" scare, you can find that post here.


But onto some BIG news! Last post I was really down on my running, however I have since been REALLY encouraged! Yesterday I got out there with my freshly charged Ipod, comfy shorts and familiar shoes and just ran and ran...I finished my two miles flawlessly and I felt great...I stopped, for no more then 1 minute, to drink a bit of water, then thought to myself...Ya know, I think I could at least do another mile...So that's just what I did! However, I finished that third mile without even a pit stop and just kept on trucking until I completed another mile...I AM SMILING FROM EAR TO EAR AFTER TYPING THAT! That totals 4 freakin miles outdoors ladies with only one break for some water...BUT WAIT, here is the best part...I went from running 12 minute miles to 10 minute miles the whole darn way....AHHHHHHHH! Excuse me while I scream into a pillow then proceed to swing my (imaginable) partner round and round...I honesly feel like a 5k is in my near future?????



Robert is on CQ tonight so I am all alone minus our two furry kids...For those of you who have a cat and dog, do they play with one another and if so, is it rough play? Bella is so aggressive with Peanut but then Peanut gets his jabs in there too...I would think if one or the other is getting hurt then they would just quit, but they both come back for more....Robert is getting concerned that Bella is hurting Peanut, but Bella is the one who's always being left with big bloody scratches. I even think Peanut pulled one of her wiskers out because she has a nice little scab where one should have been...Thoughts? Suggestions? We're trying to teach them the word "easy" but its just not sinking in...Sigh...Maybe they'll grow out of it???

A Puppy Post!

First, I wanted to thank ALL of you for commenting on my job dilemma. Everyone was so sweet and supportive. I think I have decided to look, like you all have advised, but also put even more effort into learning my s***, if you know what I mean...I haven't actually heard those words of being "let go" from my DM. That was just my manager speculating, so until I get the word from the big guy, I am going to just keep trying my hardest and hope that it'll be good enough!

Secondly, many of you have asked numerous times about Bella, since I've gotten her, so I've decided to make this post about my little urinating angel:)

Four days after we adopted Bella I, with leash in hand, took her to the leasing office and with the payment of $250 and an agreement of a $10 puppy rent every month, Bella Bell became a legit resident of these Georgia grounds! Now she can legally poop and pee:) She has settled in nicely all except her wishy washy dedication to peeing outside. She has stopped waking me up four times during the course of the night and backed it off to two, phew! I was a little worried that she would interfere with Robert's much needed sleep, but that has since vanished. He sleeps so hard that he never hears me get up with her. I broke her habit of wanting to play in the wee hours of the morning each time we came back in from peeing, because momma wasn't all about that! She is such a diva! The little thing just lays out flat every time we're on her two mile walk and she gets tired:p I notice dead weight on the leash and naturally look behind me only to see Bella being dragged along with her two front legs under her belly and her hind legs stretched right out! I guess that is her way of protesting? Lol...She refuses to walk on the hot pavement, and will not poop in public areas...Sighs...However, she brings a lot of joy to my life and also has calmed our devil cat WAY down. I guess he was craving someone to play with and boy does he have it! Bella never leaves him alone:p She is so full of energy and very loving. She absolutely LOVES people and other dogs. Although, today when I had her out, one tried to attack her! She yelped and ran behind my legs. I was angry at the dogs owner for allowing his dog that close knowing he was not friendly....RWAR! Momma bear coming out here:p So not wanting to make this post any longer, enjoy the pictures below:)

Getting her to take pictures with me IN them is rough...Here she is trying to get at my glasses:)
I'm so smart. Put a doggy bone in the shot and she's occupied enough for me to get a flash in!
"Ummm, no I wasn't just chewing on your decorative pillows, I SWEAR!"
" And no, I wasn't just chewing on the cat, phsssh."
Obviously mommy never taught this baby girl to chew with her mouth shut:p

Have a great rest of the evening everyone!
P.s. I took my running outdoors and made it 2.75 miles! Not anything near what I ran on the tread, but definitely an improvment:)

I'm Going To Be Fired?!?

Well today ended up NOT being a run day:p I am taking another day to rest up the legs from that 4 miles on Saturday. I had every intention to run this morning but the legs are humming with that sore but good feeling. I already knew I wasn't going to be able to make it far so, instead, I took Bella on a 2 mile walk...I was so proud of her; she did a 15 minute mile! Hee Hee:)

On another note, I'm feeling a little lost today...I haven't posted anything about this particular event, just because it gets me down and worried, but maybe talking it out will help?

Things have been heating up at work and not in a good way...1.5 weeks ago our district manager (M) starts breathing down our necks about the fact that our percentages in reserves are really low...I'm not just talking about our store alone, its the entire district that is struggling...(A), my manager, comes to me last Wednesday after a "come to Jesus" meeting with (M) and gives me some disturbing news. (M) is singling out the employees that are not preforming with these reserves and (A) feels like those individuals will loose their jobs over it...Come again? WHAT! I am one of those individuals peoples! I talked to (A) about it. He knows the reason I'm not getting as many, as the others, is due to my lack of gaming knowledge. So here is my beef, why then was I ever hired! (M) and (A) knew that I had no knowledge in games when they gave me the job and there for had to know that I would struggle harder then the rest. I just don't know what to do ladies...I've had thoughts of finding other work, but am afraid that it'll take me ANOTHER 1.5 months just to do that...I've already settled in here and gotten over some huge hurdles...I'm not a quitter and I guess this just feels like I'm quitting...But do I stick around long enough to get fired? I've never been fired before and the thought of that just makes me want to bawl:(

Thoughts?