August 14, 2009

As Promised...The Dreaded Wedding...

So my sisters wedding is coming up shortly and I know I tortured y'all in saying, some posts back, that I was not excited about it... Well I'm still not excited about it and that just makes me feel like a bad sister...However, maybe not...If I were a bad sister, wouldn't I pretend that they were perfect for each other and that I was all kinds of supportive? Gosh, I don't know...I know that they feel this is the right thing, but its more of a duty to my sister rather then a want...Or at least that's what her remarks in marrying him has brought me to believe...Okay, enough thinking out loud. Onto the explanation!

This is my sister and her *then* boyfriend Tyler...They were really cute together and all of us were really glad to see her smiling again. A long story short, Mouse had been in a really bad car accident involving only herself 1 year previous from the date of this picture. She had been life flighted to Vanderbilt Hospital in Nashville, TN for brain damage as result of that accident. It was very sad to see and most days made me cry. She was so full of life and always wore a shining smile where ever she went...But after that, she barley knew who she was and where she was most of the time, let alone remembering what a smile was. Well during that year recovery, she had flown to Oregon to be with my parents and older sister Mary. The recovery went well. The doctors said she was young and would bounce back at least 97 percent of the way and I feel she did, if not 100 percent! Sadly, in that year she had gotten involved with a guy that took advantage of her less then strong mind, and really did some damage. So when she returned to Tennessee where I was living, she was ready to get back to normal and just have some fun. Gosh, it couldn't have been more then three weeks when Tyler entered the picture. They had met at a club during an outing with my other sister Angel and a friend...
As you can see she was dressed super cute that night and feeling pretty flirty:p Mouse is the one in the black tank. I don't think any man stood a chance that night and from what Angel told me, that's just the way it went down:p
Well Tyler took notice and introduced himself by jumping into one of these pictures and the rest is history. I wish I could say that this was a romantic beginning to an even more romantic life together, but truth be told, things just really went south. After dating 5 months Mouse comes to me bawling saying that she is 11 weeks pregnant.

She was always complaining about how clingy Tyler was and about how jealous he is. Well now they are having a kid together so Tyler proposes...She accepted only because she felt weird being pregnant without a ring on her finger. Not one of her smarter moves, I know...Tyler was and IS obsessed with my sister. All he wants is to marry her so that he owns her and no one elses can have her. I just think that is really scary and that Mouse needs to be careful. He has already went off on her, locking her in the house while the whole time yelling and throwing things; Mouse didn't know what to do other then curl up in the corner of the couch and crying. Man, I wanted to fillet him when I heard about that. By this time She had already had their son Colton, and luckily he was over at Tyler's parents house. Well since then, they've really just been like roommates. She doesn't enjoying being intimate with him. They fight all the time. Tyler is always keeping them in debt. And then there's the whole jealousy thing. Mouse says she doesn't want them to split for Coltons sake and also because I know shes scared of being a single mom; I don't blame her! But marriage is for life and I am NOT of the belief that you should marry or stay married for the child's sake. My own parents were less then happy my entire life and there were times I would have begged them to get a divorce. It was like walking on pins and needles for 18 years. You just want the fighting and hurting to stop. You love them both and you just want it to stop. Well my sister and Tyler stayed engaged, if you will, this entire time until three weeks ago when she announces that they are finally getting married...My first thought is why now? The answer is, Tyler's deploying in October for a year and he is really pushing for the union. He doesn't want to leave without putting that final ring on her finger. Mouse says they decided "now" because she doesn't want another woman raising her son at some point and vis verse. So not only is Mouse NOT in love, but she is getting married a few weeks before a deployment! Ummm, do you see my point? A deployment is hard enough on a strong marriage! A lot of you know this...I'm just scared for her...I'm not sure if this made any since to you all...But the bottom line is, she is not happy in this situation already, and shes fixin to bind herself to it! I would love to hear your thoughts ladies...Also, my sister Mary asked me to to see if some of you would be willing to email Mouse with the , down and dirty, of a deployment to really give her a better picture of what to expect? She won't listen to me because duh, I'm her sister:p And two, because I was not married to Robert during his deployments...So I don't count:p I'd really appreciate it...Of course, Mouse would be aware of you writing her and I would make sure it was okay first:) Just let me know if any of you are willing to do this! I am off to the shower...Work is on the horizon...


  1. :-/ It does not sound ideal to me but I don't know you sister... I think you would be right to let your feelings known but at the end of the day, I wouldn't bet on her leaving him.

    Your poor sister. I'm sorry Becca. I know that is tough for you to watch.

  2. Wow, I had no idea this was such a bad decision. I just thought there was only a few issues. I would email her but since Matt and I are not married I don't feel I should give anyone advice. However, deployments are HARD, if you don't have a good relationship before...then you won't during or after. They can bring out the worst or the best in people. I wish her luck if she decides to go through with it.

  3. I'm sorry you have to watch this. It sounds far from ideal. My husband and I didn't want to get married before he went to Iraq simply because we felt like if we did we would be doing it for the wrong reason and have to rush to do it. I do know that deployments are rough on any relationship even ones that are normally great.

    I hope everything works out.

  4. Awww darlin' I'm sorry to hear this story. It is always rough to see a person that you love in a bad situation and only getting worse. Family or not, unfortunately people don't like to be told what they are doing or what they're about to do is a mistake. It sounds like you have already attempted to state your peace with your sister. I hope that you have. I think you do owe it to both of you to say something. But there are people who will absolutely disagree with that thought... that you should stay quiet and let the pieces fall will they may. However, I believe that you should speak your peace to your sis, respectfully of course. Then you have to let it go and let her lead her own life. As unfortunate as it might be.

    Holler if you need anything.

  5. I wish I had some great words of wisdom for you. Hang in's a hard situation to be in and to watch your sister in.

  6. Wow this is badd... I could never imagine marrying someone I didn't love- even if I had a kid with them, if you are doing it for the kid, don't do it... it will have a much better life not witnessing stuff like that. I can see her reasoning though. :(

    I would email her, but I haven't gone through a deployment yet... I have been seperated for a few months and I know how damn hard that is though..

  7. oh thats a doozy. not just managing a relationship in the military but raising kids in the military is EVEN HARDER. good luck, be there for her however she needs you. Even if its to tell her the tough truth.

  8. So I've been MIA for a while due to my husband just coming home from a year long deployment!! My heart aches for young brides (and even the older naive ones) who are in the fog about deployments!! I know this is a tough situation for you to watch. I would love to give the the "low down", but reality is, no two deployments are the same. But if there's anyway I can give her some insight, please let me know! I would love to answer any question she may have ( and some she may not) about what my Army life has consisted of! Hang in there!

  9. Awwww squish....the shiznit will hit the fan if mouse ever reads this lol!


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