January 7, 2010

Past Mistakes, New Beginnings!

I've been debating with myself whether or not to do a post about this particular subject. Its kind of a sore note where most of my family are concerned, so I feel trepid in writing this. However, I am much older now and I feel that I am more prepared to do it right this time.

Ever since R and I started dating about 2.5 years ago, my weight has slowly been creeping up the scale to the point where I am now 133 lbs. I say this with a cringe because I have never been that heavy! I am 5'6" and mostly, ever since I was 16 I've weighed anywhere from 115-120. I am willing to admit that at 115 I truly WAS hurting my body. I felt so weak and unhealthy. But for the sake of being skinny I starved myself. Yes, I had the mind set of an anorexic girl, but I really am thankful to my family. They gave me such a hard time and hard talks that it stopped me from getting smaller. I really caused my family a lot of worry in those years, Hence the reason for all their sour feelings toward me loosing weight. I know y'all are not them, but I still can't help feeling worried about speaking out with wanting to loose. I'm not over weight by no means. I know that. But people see that too and their automatic response is "Girl, your already skinny! you don't need to loose weight!" I know that people, I really do...I just don't feel my best at this weight. I do have love handles now. My ass and thighs have a few more pounds to love on. Seriously, I don't want to feel my thighs kissing one another when I walk and I hate that my jeans ride to low now because there's more junk in the trunk to cover! I truly feel I am more mature now and can handle the weight loss, but also know when to stop and say, "hey, you look good."

So why not just loose the weight and never say a word? Well, I want to keep myself accountable for loosing the weight and also accountable for when its time to stop. I think my husband is a bit worried himself. Mostly because he has heard me and family talk about my issues in the past. I need to do this though. For me and for all of those that I put though this. I need to show myself and others that I can loose weight but be healthy and know when to stop.

The goal is to loose 13 pounds; Bringing my weight down to 120 by early April or late April. I have joined a website called Sparkpeople.com where I am logging my calories, fats, carbs and protein as well as my cardio workouts. This website is honest and tells you when your over eating in an area and also when you need to eat more in those areas. I.e say I'm not eating enough fat grams. It lets me know, then also explains why I need them. This site is really showing me where I could do better and how to eat balanced meals. I'm staying within a 1200-1500 calorie diet. No more the 30 fat grams a day. I'm working out three times a week for thirty minutes. Drinking much more water and staying away from cokes, sweet tea and the likes. So far I feel great! I am allowing myself one cheat day every two weeks. I'm doing this mostly to counter act being overly focused and to show myself I can break away and be bad:) I have been on this program for six days and I cannot wait to weigh in this Saturday! I am also doing video blogs on Sparkpeople every week to help stay on track. Two of my sisters in Tennessee are doing this with me, so the Vlogs will help us stay in touch and motivate one another. I'm not sure if you can view my blog over there without becoming a member, but I will give y'all up dates here as well as over there.

Eating healthy and exercising regularly is not something I've tried all at once so this will be a transition:)I will continue to blog here about my regular life and happenings, but I am adding the weight loss program too, so hope you don't mind reading! I hope all of you had a wonderful first week in the new year! Don't be afraid to comment and give me ideas! I'd love to hear what you think about the program and where I could do better; meaning extra cardio here, more calories there or even just your success stories! Or if you think I'm crazy all together:p Love hearing from you guys!

Caio for now!


  1. Don't feel bad about feeling like you need to lose weight. I feel the same way. I've been married for a little over a year...and I totally gained those newlywed pounds!! All 25 of them!!! I'm the same way: for most of my teen/college years, I weighed around 120 and now that I'm like 140 I don't feel like myself. It's difficult. I've tried to keep up with calorie counting, but it gets really hard. One thing I have stuck with (with the exception of the last month bc of moving...ugh) is working out. =) I've lost inches..but no real pounds. So, try not to focus on what the scale says. =)

  2. At the end of the day love it is YOUR body and YOU are the one that has to feel good in your own shoes. People, no matter if they are your friends, family, or strangers, should be able to relate to that and understand that we all just want to feel good about ourselves. Do what you need to, lose the weight if you want to and allow yourself to find the body that you want and be happy with it! xx Good luck!

  3. Happy New Year!

    Nothing wrong with wanting to lose a little weight so you feel good about yourself! I'm trying to do something similar, but I only want to lose 5-10lbs. Good luck! :)

  4. I can so sympathize. It's always the never ending battle of trying to get healthy without going overboard again...and how do you walk that fine line? It is really easy to forget when/how to stop!!

    Good luck with getting healthy :)

  5. It sounds like a totally reasonable goal to me!

  6. While I would pay my left big toe to be your size - I definitely understand the need to just FEEL GOOD in your own body. I think you totally set a realistic goal and a great plan to make it! I'm cheering for you!

  7. I'm with Alison! Lets all get more healthy. But "healthy" is the key word! Don't over-do it. You seem to be very aware of that, so just make sure to stop at your goal! :)


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