I've Been Noticing Thangs...

I had intended to let the day slip by, without gracing the web'o'sphere with another fabulous post from "Moi" but then I took a shower this evening and a blog post came to me... Lately I've been noticing things. Things (and I won't say that all women go through) postpartum because I'm really not sure if it's just me, stress related, or all part of the baby pooping gig.  But I've been loosing hair y'all. And not just a little hair, but brushes full, shower grate drains full!!! It's all over my bathroom floors. I literally have to sweep everyday to keep up with it! I'm seriously freaking out!!! If I keep loosing hair, at this rate, I'll be bald before my husband returns, sometime next year... Can you imagine what THAT home coming would  look like??? However, it's more then just the hair. I've been noticing increasingly aggressive hormones too, usually when aunt flow visits and right before ovulation...For the first 4 months after giving birth, I felt like one of the lucky ones because, I hardly noticed the hormone changes. I excitedly began to think my body had just chilled out and revamped over those nine months. That I was DONE with those pesky lil' things. PAHHH!  Lately it's just been unbearable and feels like it's getting worse every month...I'm seriously thinking about getting on birth control while R is gone, even, just to bypass some of this craziness! Seriously. One minute I'm completely relaxed, enjoying my day, and then BAM! I feel like I'm having an anxiety attack and the world is at large, closing in. Like today...R was given pre-deployment leave, the next 10 days, so we took advantage of our unexpected Friday together and went to the mall...We may or may not have visited Victoria Secret in search of some goodies, but the moral of the story is, I was relaxed. Having a wonderful time with R and our beautiful baby girl; just strolling along, talking and laughing and loving the admiring looks from passerby's. Or at least I think they were admiring me and my beautiful family. I mean I was actually dressed up, wearing jeans with real buttons and everything! It COULDN'T have been my tired (I could sleep for days)  puffy eyes with bags down to my knees. Or the unwashed, unkept messy ponytail (isn't that the style these days) shit show that I ACTUALLY looked like. No. Those were definitely looks of admiration, void of pity, ha!   But while I was swimming in this state of awesomeness, just strolling along...party pooper hormones came and decided to ring my bell. And I mean RING IT! It felt like I was having a heart attack, all tight and full of anxiety. Like the wind had been knocked out of me where I had to stop and take several DEEP breaths! I might or might not have lost it with my daughter later in the evening too...The only reason I escaped a colossal melt down was because of my AWESOME hubby (seriously. I'm so lucky to be married to such a wonderful man) He apparently noticed the tone change in my voice and the crazy, aggravated mom look I was piercing our daughter with and decided, best to intervene. I felt awful! Just terrible! But I guess a screaming baby is not the best environment for throbbing anxiety, where I couldn't even handle the sound of a radio, television or phone ringing. Like sharp nails on an exposed nerve, I tell ya!  But there's also the smaller inconveniences: horrible skin, brittle nails, loose belly fat that refuses to DIE and what appears to be a much slower metabolism, no matter how hard I work...Don't even get me STARTED on my new and very much UNIMPROVED tata's...  Smart lil' me quickly realized, the only thing saving this night was a brain numbing sweat session via  Shaun T, a nice hot shower afterwards, met with a glass of wine (or three) and yup. Feeling much better;)  So lets have it ladies...Is this normal postpartum shiz'nizz? Or is this stress related??? Or both... Feel free to add that,  this does go away???