September 25, 2012

Mumble Mumble, Deployment Rumbles

I feel there is SOOOOOO much I could blog about these days, that it gets truly overwhelming! So instead of dumping on the ol' blog and using it for it's purpose, I don't. ha!

I blame life right now. Which is seriously coming at us all too fast these days.
I feel like I'm living in a bubble of denial because if I don't, I'd barely have time to sneak a breath of air!

I've mentioned the rumblings of a deployment on here before but since it's officially upon us and (no seriously. I can feel it combing the hairs on the back of my neck, as it passes)  I'm more then feeling the effects of it: stress, anxiety, lack of sleep,  emotionally wanting to spend and then there's the obvious 1,000 moments of neediness I experience in a day. You know what I'm talking about ladies. "Honey, I need a hug, a kiss, a foot rub. Can we snuggle? Pillow talk? Do you love me? Do I make you happy?" Crazy laughter, then crying, then eating...Must I go on! Phew...Poor hubby!

I'm really trying to not allow my anxiety to over run what little time we've left, but it's hard y'all! Everyday I take mental pictures of my lovers smile, laughter, presence in our home and the feel of him sleeping in our bed but even those things send me into a UGLY-SAPPY-SAD mess...

 That's why, it's probably a good thing, the decision was made for SugarCube and I to move in with R's folks, in Arizona. I was going to be all independent and tough and stay. We have a nice house (rental) in a cute but large neighborhood (so excited for Halloween) that I could really see myself making a go of it here. But, I haven't made that many friends in a year (I'm so bad about that) and being a stay at home mom with no "responsibilities" or excitement to pass the time, didn't make it ideal to stay. However, I could have and would have found a way to spice up our life and pass the time, i.e go back to work part-time, join a gym, take a college class etc... However, it really came down to finances and R's peace of mind that his girls would be taken care of.

It's not all about the money, although we will save a TON and basically be debt free in 9 months. I really am excited! I get along GREAT with my in-laws. They are seriously the best people and I'm so blessed to have them. I also love my sister in-law. She's really out going and fun. The perfect pal for a time when I'll need distractions:) But the biggest perk is, I'm over the moon excited for SugarCube to have her Grammy G, Grampa G and Aunt Suzi so near. I loved growing up with my grand-parents down the walk, so if I can give that to Alyssa, I want to. Even if it is for a short time.

So! We're moving!

Bring on the boxes, packing tape, utter craziness of an 8 month old, 2 large dogs, a cat and of course, the 1400 mile road trip! Did I mention I'm doing this sans hubby? The only thing we're packing before he leaves is his garage. The rest of the house is mine. I guess I'll be earning my mil-spouse wings in true fashion!

Here's to the next year of more big changes, new adventures and stronger relationships.



  1. Aww sorry so much stress bec. wish you were moving here instead.

  2. Yikes. You've got this girl... You already have the faith that you can succeed so you'll be a okay. And those needy feelings are totally normal! Bahahahaha.


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