Mrs. Cranky Pants

Today was definitely a hormonal pregnant lady, cranky pants day---

source
I looked a lot like this!

It started out well enough. R was called into work because of 4 unexpected snow days they received, so I decided to make use of the a lone time and get some errands done.

 After 5 days of bad road conditions, I REALLY needed to make a grocery run to the commissary and also the hospital lab. So after putting my grocery list together, grabbing my jug for testing and already feeling exhausted (mistake number one) I headed out, only to be met at the guard gate with an expired I.D card...UGH!

Slight irritation number one, even though it wasn't their fault but my own.

When you're pregnant, you don't see reason, just inconvenience. Am I right???

My thoughts???  I have stickers on my car, why won't they just let me in with my drivers license? Whatever.

So I get stopped, pulled aside like some criminal and am asked to fill out 3 pages of paperwork.

Keep in mind, 2 days ago, baby girl dropped making it really hard to walk 3 feet without having to pee. And last night my first experience with braxton hicks start which continue into today.

After having my I.D card confiscated (sounds so dirty) I'm given some papers and told to head to the DEERS (I.D card) office. Wait a minute. I was on my way to the hospital...What if I'd been in labor or something. I honestly don't want to believe that a valid I.D card would take precedence over that...

Okay. ANYWAY....I DON'T head to the DEERS office as instructed but instead make my way to the hospital but with yet another errand on my list. Go get a flippin I.D card...Ugh...I don't know about other pregnant women but at almost 34 weeks HUGE you gotta pick and choose your battles because energy is in short supply! NO big deal, I tell myself. I can handle this!

Once at the hospital, I decide to park at a different building entrance. This (should) bring me to  the (short) route I've been told about but never tried. (mistake number 2) So here I am. Big as a whale. Carrying a bucket with ice and a jug of pee that I swear weighs 20 pounds...I mean, it was a 24 hour urine count and I do drink A LOT of water...*slosh slosh slosh* I make my way into the building thinking I'm real slick for cutting off some walking. You know. To save energy. Two MILES later, totally discombobulated and feeling like my calves were going to EXPLODE, I find the lab. And guess what?

IT'S CLOSED!!!!

People, I know the weather put a damper on things but it's melted now! If this pregnant, Georgia driving, lady can venture out with her little box of a car, you can too! Not to mention, the drop off station is supposedly open 24/7 meaning it doesn't even require man power to run this side of the lab! That's all I needed. To drop this off...I really considered just leaving my jug of pee right there at their front door. BUT it needs to be on ice and I didn't want to have to redo the sample.

Peeing in a jug EVERY TIME YOU HAVE TO PEE WHILE PREGNANT is a pain y'all. Let me tell ya!! Especially at night, when you have to run downstairs each time because your jug has to stay in the fridge. Yeah, no sleep...

Moving on.

Irritated beyond belief, I left trying to find my way back to the car. I found a back way with LOTS of stairs. Of course it had stairs...

Back at my car, calves screaming again, I get in and head to the DEERS office...I NEED to get this done otherwise I'll miss my fetal stress test appointment on Monday. I already missed the one on Thursday because of the weather. I CAN'T MISS THIS ONE.  

However, you guessed it. They usually are open on a Saturday but every third Saturday they close down...Which happened to be today...Oh the smile that came across my face reading that little piece of white paper...I lost all sane person emotional control at that point.

FRICK. FRACK. FRICKIN FRACK!!!!

At this point I'm SOOOOO pissed. I had every intention of getting my grocery shopping done but back at my car, I text my husband a really nasty, I hate my life, text and head to the nearest Burger King to emotionally eat my weight in all things bad. HA!

"Screw this day" was how I ended that text to hubby.

His sweet response was "I'll have the tea kettle on when you get home Love." Bless that man!

It doesn't end there though. Apparently I hit the on post burger joint at lunch hour so I sit in the drive thru for FORTY MINUTES!!! There were curbs on either side so I'm committed...

My thoughts in those LONG MINUTES? Getting angrier by the second...

GOD I HAVE TO PEE!!!

GOD I'M HUNGRY!!!

YOU'RE TOTALLY LOOSING IT BEC!

 I DON'T CARE!!!

GOD I'M SCARED FOR THESE PEOPLE.

SO THIS IS WHY THEY TELL YOU TO PACK SNACKS...

My phone and android app for Facebook were the only two things that saved me. No joke.

As you can tell, I'm a hot mess at this point...I literally start to cry...Forty minutes later, I snatch my bag of food, wolf it down and drive like a (mad) lady back home and to my bathroom...

I make it home where R is waiting with my tea so I immediately hug him and start to cry again!!! I tell him "today I really hate being pregnant."  He rubs my back and tells me it's legal. That I've done a bang up job and hormonal days are allowed...

He realized that only one thing was going to save this day. A long nap! So he kicks the dogs out of the room, sets my sleepy time tea on the night stand and tells me to get some rest. I love my husband:)

 God I felt so pathetic and I KNEW I was being hormonal and bizarre but Lord only knows I couldn't stop the feelings of wanting to strangle something, ANYTHING!

So yeah... Total hormonal pregnant lady, cranky pants day:) But I'm better now!

I hope you got a kick out of this as much as I did; AFTER I calmed down;) This day just had to be documented, however, because it was my first!!! I guess I'm part of that crazy club now, you hear husbands talk about. LOL.

Baby Bump Enthusiasts Beware

Full disclaimer: This post is about my experience with pregnancy as a first time mom. The good, the bad and the unexpected. These are the opinions, thoughts and feelings of me, Rebekah G, as the individual I am. This is MY blog. If you are one of the many who romanticized pregnancy, as I did, and would like to remain in that warm, dreamy bubble, this is your exit. I acknowledge that we are all different in style. We all handle these 9 months differently. I also realize that what I say here may be LARGELY unaccepted by many and looked down on for voicing such raw, honest material. For all of my disapproving readers, before commenting, please re-read the above statement and choose your words carefully. I have in no way, claimed my feelings and opinions as a direct reflection of you or sold my thoughts as your thoughts. If you are not completely freaked out at this point, please read on! I swear I'll stop talking like a mechanical robot just as soon as you scroll a few spaces down:) Thank you!


We are definitely in the thick of this journey at 24 weeks, ekk! I can't believe we'll be meeting our baby girl in 16 weeks or less! This is going so crazy fast, but I'm so excited to start "that" part of this journey...It's no secret in my household that "pregnancy" does not suite me nor do I make it look good for those of you who have yet to carry a little one in your tum tum. I really am sorry! My sister Mary says to me "if I ever had any romantic ideas about being pregnant, I definitely don't now." It was said in a joking manner but I still feel bad that I couldn't be that girl for her. I wanted to be that girl for myself and for all of you looking on. I really did! The one who glows and laughs all the time and who is as big as a pumpkin yet still exudes sexiness...Yeah, that girl:) Unfortunately it wasn't in the cards for me.

Sad face!

How you'll deal with all the emotional and physical changes really depends on the type of person you are. I am many things that do not mesh well with growing a fetus: positive, driven, CONFIDENT, motivated, goal oriented, always on the go, I can't STAND to be unhappy and will do anything in my power to change the situation for the better. See where I'm going with this? No, probably not seeing as all of these things are GREAT when dealing with change. But that's just it! In my experience so far, being pregnant changes EVERYTHING about you!!! When you LIKED the person you were before, that can be a very bad mix! I guess I'll take 9 months of fighting to like myself vs. a lifetime of not liking myself only to be happy when I'm pregnant, haha! No brainer there...

It certainly didn't help that we got pregnant 5 weeks before I would be ripped up, up rooted and moved 3,000 miles away.... Oh I LOVE change y'all. I LOVE the uncertainty of moving, changing jobs, meeting a different type of people, not knowing whats around me or even where the closest grocery store is...The military lifestyle fits me 100%...Or should I say, the old non pregnant me;) But this new me is something just out of this world! The old me fights to bite the head off all of these new icky, foreign feelings living inside me. Those little pesticides are labeled as: Insecure, needy, emotional, unmotivated, mopey, restless, did I say insecure? Lets not forget, the growing belly, ass, boobs, increasing cellulite and diminishing neck...My sweet younger brother likes to say that it looks like a women got hit by a bag of quarters when referring to cellulite. Lucky for him, he refrained from that line while I was visiting back home:)

Lets talk about life outside my front door...Those changes have been the hardest to deal with so far, because I no longer have a reason to go OUTSIDE my front door. I lost a really good job in Georgia due to this PCS. Granted, I didn't LOVE that job but I was at least making money, being challenged, climbing the corporate ladder, had LOADS of responsibility and felt proud of my accomplishments! I had things and a life to talk about when I got home!!!! Where as now I don't talk much about anything. Who really wants to hear about how many times I scrubbed the kitchen sink today. Or how I sat on the couch all day watching Kardashian reruns while refreshing my Facebook page every 2 seconds to see if someone posted something new or maybe wants to talk. Okay, it's not as dire as I make it sound, but it feels that dire!

What I really miss the most, is having options...Sigh... Before, I had the option to go running until I couldn't breath anymore. I was allowed to raise my heartbeat above 140 beats per minute, if I felt like it, and not worry about over heating. I could eat an entire cake if I wanted to because I could just starve myself after and kick my butt with p90x for a week to make up for it...Screwed up yes, but it was an option! I could eat the entire cake now, but starving myself is no longer an option, lol...The minute my stomach lets out a low grumble, baby kicks me in the left ovary until I fix the problem...I'm not sure if it's because she's hungry or my growling belly is interrupting her quite time;)

And last but not least, lets talk about how this new you is effecting your husband and marriage...Oh yes, We're going there!


R is used to our life as a very independent couple. We love being around each other but we also enjoy our time away doing other things. I believe Dr. Phil would say we have the good kind of marriage; no co-dependency here! R is also used to his wife being the confident, happy, always on the go, energetic ball of electricity that he married...However, what he has right now is an insecure, weepy, sad, unmotivated little girl with no life, no friends, wanting all of his time and pillow talk EVERY night...***Every man in their right mind just peed their pants and is wincing in pain at reading this. Even (I) feel compassion for you babe:) Truth be told, if the roles were reversed, I would be a bit freaked out right about now! In fact, I AM FREAKED OUT!!! The changes you make while pregnant definitely effect your marriage. I wasn't ready for that but it was unrealistic to think that everything would remain the same when you have changed the whole playing field! It's like that awful "switch" men talk about...Where the woman "switches" once a commitment is made and it changes the whole dynamic of the relationship. That's what I'm imagining it feels like to my husband right about now. The hateful thing is, the "switch" was without my approval...Bastard! Being out of control sucks y'all...

This is my last paragraph and I wanted it to be about the good; to reassure all of my family and friends who love me that this baby is VERY LOVED ALREADY and not being born to an insane person...I'm only insane right now;)

I do realize the above reading was a little rough, but I just want to clarify that all of my gripes, and not so pleasant observations has everything to do with the "pregnancy" and NOT my child...Those are two completely different things! I am in love with this little girl♥ I love her, not so little, kicks and even my growing belly because I know that means shes getting bigger! I have several moments of panic a day at the thought of loosing her...I feel so protective of her and all her tiny toes, and fingers...All of the vitamins and water and eating right, I no longer do for me but for her...I can't wait to hold her swaddled little body!!! I absolutely love watching TLC's "A Baby Story" and seeing pictures of friends posting their new additions just so I can gush over their sweet newborns. I'm getting really anxious to meet our sugar cube. REALLY ANXIOUS! I no longer have fear over the day I go into labor because the thought of what that means is way more exciting!!!! So yes, pregnancy has been less then memorable for me individually...I can say that and sleep at night. I'm okay with it...I don't beat myself up about it! Because I know it has everything to do with being limited, emotional and seeing changes that I wasn't prepared for. It has, in no way, anything to do with our little girl♥

P.S three days ago I put into effect "Operation Get Becca Back" so hopefully by the time dust has settled on this post, I'll be the old me again:) Feeling better already!