Brain Dead With No Brilliant Title.

Today was the day and boy. I'm definitely feeling that eight year hiatus. Brain. Dead. Ha! 

Is it bad that I'm already wishing these next eight weeks to be over? Most assuredly, this research paper that I had NO CLUE existed. I used to be a cocky little shit when it came to reading comprehension. But, apparently, I've completely rotted my brain inside these mindless romance novels I read and totally skimmed over that juicy tidbit in the syllabus, when "carefully" selecting a sham'tastic class.

 Bollocks. 

     

Officially Fall!

Last Sunday we took Sugarcube to her first pumpkin patch, which makes Fall official. I think I was more the kid than my daughter! I simply enjoy watching her explore, discover and learn. Which was the whole of this experience. 

We started out in the petting farm, only after spotting the pony rides where she kept wanting to go under the corral and pet them. Yeah. The petting farm it is! This widdle bunny was her first stop. I wish I could have recorded her squeals and "WOOOOOOOWS!" :)

She wasn't so sure about this chicken, haha!

The goat was of interest, until she spotted that little boys piglet. 

I wish I could edit myself out of this photo. This is probably my favorite picture of her, that day. Such a sweet calf. And  her crouching ever so gently to pet it :)

The straw bale maze was another hit. It was so difficult getting pictures because she was GONE! Surprisingly, she only got stuck once, having to turn back around and navigate some more.  

Largest sandbox EVER! I was even impressed. If I were a kid, this is probably where I would have camped the entire time. That. and at the concessions, heehee :)

I wanted to do this with Sugarcube so badly! But it appeared big foot mama's and papa's needed to stay on the sidelines. This was the straw bale jump. She was a bit too small to climb the bales and leap, but she didn't mind stomping around in the plushy straw either. 

Having a blast

I've always loved sliding with my kid. She's really at an age where she doesn't NEED me to take her down the slopes. But I still do anyhow ;) It's gonna be tough the day she actually says, she no longer needs me. TEAR! 

Fun. fun! 

Getting fancy. Going down backwards! 

Coming in for a landing! 

This was where we mostly ended our fun day. In the pumpkin patch! Shortly after these photos, we found THEE pumpkin. Daddy finally got his roasted ear of corn and Sugarcube managed to squeak in a small petting session with the cutest litter of kittens. 

Carving our jack-o-lanterns this weekend! 

The Mother of Brain Dumps

Sometimes my brain drives me nuts with all of it's random thoughts and ideas.
 oh why, do we women not have a nothing box? It doesn't hardly seem fair that guys get one but we don't? We're the one's who stress and angst the most in relationships. Who are constantly "on" solving the worlds problems in addition to our own...

So... Dear God, why weren't we given one of those? WE NEEEEED a nothing box!

Current thought stream.

 Guilt. Such a nasty little parasite. It seems I'm feeling extremely guilty these days and I'm not exactly sure why. Okay. I know why but it seems really misguided and maybe a bit about keeping myself down. EWWWWW! Just typing that brings me into focus here. Go away negative, no good for anyone, spirits! I know we're in the month of ghosts and ghouls but I'd rather just focus on the candy and bag the trash. K? 

~~~~~~~

 Why is baby fever even a thing? Is it to guarantee we'll populate the earth? As if we would never come to have more children, after the curtain of reality's been lifted. Okay. Okay. If your basing this idea off one woman (me) and her first experience with pregnancy, then there's probably a lot of truth in this, ha! Which is why, I'm really starting to freak myself out. I know in the deepest part of my soul, that I am not ready for another child yet. In fact I keep a stash of cheapie pregnancy tests to relive my paranoid mind every month. So explain to me WHY my brain and body are trying to convince me otherwise! I'm seriously at war with myself y'all. I have involuntarily zoned in on everything baby related and it's just the most bizarre feeling. Constantly, mentally, being poked and prodded...I get when YOU want something, you become very conscious of that desire. But. I. Don't. Want. This. Right. Now. It's definitely a hormonal, pre-built in "go" button. It's gotta be!

~~~~~~~

And what is it about Christmas music, that make us feel so warm and cozy? This past week has been a bit stressful, emotionally, and so I've been playing those illustrious melodies all week. Which is great! When it fixes problem A. The only downside is. it creates problem B--- Feeling all warm and cozy makes me want to have all things warm and cozy. i.e cookies. cakes. hot chocolate. argh. And my pj's, where I stake a claim on my couch, vowing to never leave my warm flannel cloaks. Savvy?
#150 on my to do list: delete holiday channel on Pandora ASAP.

~~~~~~~~

Mommy fail. It appears I really missed a memo this past weekend, when seeing that everyone and their mother was at a pumpkin patch with their little tots. Facebook was FULL of pictures from corn mazes, hay rides and cherry cheeked cherubs holding their  Halloween pumpkins... Then it hit me, that I am just so busy at being busy that I'm missing the mark a lot. I just don't think about these things! Yes. my kid might only be 20 months old and people might argue that she won't remember all the things I didn't do at this age. But I disagree! Kids are curious little buggers and they go looking for pictorial evidence. I know I did! So even though we didn't do a pumpkin patch last year, by gosh, you will have pictures from one this year kiddo! Psh. No guilt here.

P.S I started this post last week actually, where yesterday we did make it to the pumpkin patch. So. much. fun! I'll be posting pics of that shortly :)

 ~~~~~~~~


And finally. because I've read though this post all week, tweaking and editing, I'm lead to address my obsession of PERFECTION....Lately I've been thinking a great deal on happiness and how much of it I actually do have in my life. Yet I don't think a lot of you would know it, by the way I expect perfection. It's kind of a buzz kill. Always running around, frazzled and frantic inside, trying to complete the million and one things I've told myself I MUST GET DONE. But if I don't (which happens ALL THE TIME) then I fail. I'm a bad mom. bad wife. bad everything.

But this particular morning, I woke up. The sun was shining when I left for the gym. My hubby was on his way out for a company ride (good for him, he deserves guy time!) and the day didn't feel so weighted. Rather carefree and happy! As I drove to the gym, with my daughter nibbling her snacks like a little mouse, I thought on this happy feeling and wished everyday could start and end like this.

and than a breakthrough happened. I realized, that truthfully, it can. I just have to stop expecting perfection in EVERYTHING that I do and stop viewing chaos as a threat; rather a sign that my life is full and thriving!

So today I'm embracing myself outside of perfection. And telling myself. yes. my house will always be chaotic and never be spotless. I'll never be caught up on priorities, at any given time, because everything is a priority and most of it's revolving i.e laundry. dishes. cleaning. cooking dinner. walking the dogs. making my husband happy. making my daughter happy. you get the idea. So just understand this. accept it and move forward!

Seriously. you will operate at the minimum most days, when you actually DID gave that day your all. But don't treat that as a failure. AGAIN. your life is full and thriving!

 Delight in the things you did accomplish. No matter if it was simply time spent with your child. That IS enough.

You will never stop setting goals; you will never stop the pursuit of those goals. This is who you are. Always moving forward. Always bettering yourself. But a little tip here. Learn to recognize when your plate is full. and smile about this instead of frowning. This doesn't mean your failing, it means you're living life to it's fullest!

Lastly. your worth is not in your ability to preform perfectly. Again. I say. Your WORTH is not inherited through perfect performance. the people who matter will love you no matter what. Whether your actually juggle those balls, or you decide to sit on them, it will never change your value.

So go forth and BE who you are. and never apologize because your not perfect at it.

Ha! Take That MONDAY...  

Guest Blogging!

Good morning y'all! 

I just got back from my daily dose of the gym. But more than that, I did something today that I HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE! I wrote my very first guest post. EVER. Did I say that already? Ha! Which was super scary (hello performance anxiety) but proved to be so fun too!  

Find me over at the cutest nautical nest on the web, Honor, Courage, Commitment and say hello! Also, for those of you who are following my weight training journey, I've posted a few "recent" photos of that over there. Enjoy!

Thanks for reading y'all and have a blessed day!   

Being A Parent Is Hard.

This is the post where I talk about my daughter and how she's been replaced with this complete, out of control, mutant monster the past few days.

Seriously. I DO NOT recognize my kid these days!!! She's being so terrible and honestly, I can't for the life of me, understand HOW my kid even maintains this level of crying and screaming on the daily. You'd think her reserve of (my life is so terrible) tears would run out at some point or her vocal cords would decide to shrivel and go on strike. No? Not even just a little? Okay, whateve.

I guess I HAVE seen signs of the terrible two's knocking, but after last week where she caught a stomach bug then got over it, this. THING. was left in its wake. I am still reeling at how fast this happened. I get that she was sick and was allowed more Otter-pops than normal, definitely got more mommy cuddles, but sheesh kid. There are better ways to thank me.

So far, in 4 days, we've had...Well there have been so many, I've completely lost track. BUT A LOT of tantrums. I'm talking, this kid screams so hard she's not even screaming tantrums. Rolling on the floor tantrums. Stomping those two little feet (faster than 8 pistons hammering inside a V8 beauty) tantrums! The kind of tantrums that you look at and think, wow, that kids needs her ASS beat! 

To be honest, I can't tell half the time what these fits are about! They start over one thing, and I MIGHT be able to salvage that upset by talking to her and giving her my attention, but the moment she starts down that road, it's like her fuse gets shorter and shorter and it just rolls into the next thing and the next. I would seriously be a nut case, walking on egg shells full-time, if I was that mom who chose to handle this by not upsetting the tater-tot. WOW. Last night we had the mother of all mothers of fits. Over a freakin tuna sandwich! Well it started out over daddy sharing mini Nilla Wafers with her and him not allowing her to have more then one at a time. We salvaged that one. But then she wanted to eat my tuna sandwich (but only while she was holding it) which I wouldn't allow, because  IT WAS MY SANDWICH and she was going to make a mess with it ( I had just fed the kid a hearty dinner mind you.) She decided then and there, that this was NOT going to happen in her house, so she begins to do this alligator death roll while crying and screaming in frustration. Daddy can't handle the rolling on the floor like a spoiled child, so he keeps standing her back up. WRONG. I try to distract her with a few favorite toys and the promise of going outside (which I start dragging her towards the back door because she refuses to walk) and HOLY MOTHER OF MARY you would have thought I was asking her to walk the plank! (INTO THE SHARK INFESTED WATERS YOU!)

I will admit, that at one point, I misted her in the face with a water bottle. You know, the whole shock effect, because (hey) it works with cats! However, no positive response from this lioness... We try a few other things, like introducing "time out" (yeah big mistake on our part, 30 minutes before bed, when she was already fighting the cranky-sleepys) and talking to her calmly but NOTHING is working. SO I do the only other thing I know how, which was walk away... Hardest thing EVER! You're so conflicted. Half of you believes this should be dealt with, with a good'ol fashioned spanking. But the other half, just hates seeing your child this upset. We're talking hysterics at this point and half way to self-hyperventilation. Daddy and I sit in the hall for what seemed like an eternity (maybe 7 minutes) while she thrashed couches, her bean bag and the floor with those angry feet, eventually wearing herself out. She calms down and comes to find us, but THE LITTLE RAT, once she sees us??? Turns right back around to resume her fit. Another 2 minutes of this and she's finally spent, sucking her thumb, cuddling her blankie and looking so insecure and confused. KNIFE to my heart. I make her walk nicely to me though, than pick her up and explain to her that she will not treat mommy and daddy like that because that kind of behavior is ugly. I also tell her to say she's sorry ( which I get, is totally lost on a 19 month old, but it just seems like it needs to be taught now, rather than later.)

Needless to say, I wasn't ready for this swift donkey-kick in the mommy-face and so I certainly wasn't ready to know how, and in what way, I would deal with this. I obviously panicked and allowed that to drag out longer then it should have. So many mistakes I'm seeing, as I type this out. Obviously, very confused and incapable of dissecting that whole scene, The next day I call in the Calvary, a.k.a my big sissy!!

I really look up to her as a parent. She not only has sound parenting advise but she also has two awesome, well behaved kids to demonstrate the relevance of that advise. Dude, right now I'd love nothing more than to take her two kids to my one child. I mean, look at those little peaches! But just until this storm blows over... You getting all this sister dear ;) I WILL be visiting in December or January. Just sayin!

But because I can't trade my kid in for an older model, I'm sure I'll get the hang of this soon. I have to... I owe it to her to be the adult, set boundaries and never back down, even when I'm tired.

I love you to DEATH Sugarcube. To death! And I would do anything for you. To include, being that firm hand you need throughout life because we both want to see you grow into a decent, beautiful and loving human being. Yes, I'll feel like crying right along with you, and I'll always question if I'm doing the right thing, but keeping the end goal in sight, I know we'll get through this and achieve the outcome.

But Damn. Being a parent is hard y'all.

Fitness Update (Wk 10)

Fitness update. 

Yup. You better believe that right arms a flexin ;)

The past few weeks have been hit or miss for the gym. I've only been able to go 4 days a week vs. my usual 6. Poor Sugarcube's teething saga continues and she also caught a nasty stomach bug from the gyms child watch center. Don't you just hate when your kids are sick... So sad, but you do get some pretty awesome cuddles :)  Baby girl seems to be on the mend though, so I have high hopes of kicking it back up two notches, come Monday.

I am still working on Jamie Eason's Live Fit Trainer; finished phase 2 some weeks back but have decided to redo the phase for more bulk time. What can I say. I LOVE TO LIFT! Currently, I've already completed week 2 of this second go around, so I guess you could say I'm 10 weeks into this weight training journey! I have noticed the scale creeping up the past few weeks, but if I'm honest, I haven't been hitting cardio as hard as the program wants and lets not forget that lean muscle weighs more than fat. Regardless though, 3-4 thirty minute sessions of cardio a week, isn't a lot to ask; I've just been lazy.

Here's a thought for you though (wish I had photos to hammer this home)
The scale is currently sitting at 130.5 lbs vs. the 128.5 is was just 4 weeks ago. HOWEVER, 3 weeks ago I had on a pair of shorts that showed pretty significant over spill. Today though, wearing the same shorts, you guessed it. NO OVER SPILL....So do the math. What does 2 lbs heavier yet leaner, say? Weight training works. And the scale is NO measure of success ;)

I plan on taking another set of progress photos once I finish out my second round of phase 2. So be looking for those in 2'ish weeks. I think y'all are gonna be surprised what 4 weeks of lifting can achieve. I know I am! I'm also wrapping up a weight loss challenge on Sept 25th, which will be about right for these progress photos. I didn't join the challenge to lose scale weight. I had no intention of winning (that goes against my fitness goals right now) but I did feel it could help me get a handle on my after dinner cheating. Which it has. But oddly enough, the last I checked, I might be one of the candidates for the $200+ prize. so we shall see :)

I hope everyone is having a great week and chin up!!!  TOMORROW IS FRIDAY! 

Favorite fitness/life quote of the week---

Giddy As A First Grader

Dude. Facebook was FULL of cute and polished pics of kiddos returning to school today. So I had to jump in on the fun with a "Going Back To School" update of my own. A few posts ago, I wrote that I'd be returning to school for my B.A in psychology, but that I was still waiting on transcripts for them to cut my acceptance letter. WELL...  That acceptance letter finally came last week, along with my financial aid award letter, which was also VERY good news for our bank account!!!  I am BEYOND excited y'all. Don't you just love when doors open wide, where before they remained shut or seriously jammed? FINALLY, after seven years, I'm returning to school!!! I cannot wait for my first class and homework assignment. EKK! I know. I'm a nerd. But I'm also super comfortable in my nerdy skin ;) 

To add to my excitement, I've already gotten a $750 scholarship through the school, and have 2 more very promising ones to be announced next year...Who doesn't love free money! Hello iPad 2???? 

And lastly, instead of starting back March 2014, looks like I'll be squeaking in this October! I had plans of returning in March because of the PCS to Louisiana. I thought school would still be in session during the move and being without Internet, hopping from Washington, to Arizona, to Tennessee to finally Louisiana once my hubby arrived, didn't sound fun while trying to finish out with a good grade. PHEW! Just typing our December itinerary out, has me breathing like a woman in labor! December 14th I finish my first session, 2 days before the madness begins. Talk about "the hair on my chinny chin chin," Ha!  

So that's where things sit for now. My academic advisor informed me yesterday that I have 21.5 credits that transferred into my degree, from my previous college. That means, if I follow their course schedule, I could realistically be graduated with my B.A in a little over 3 years! I understand there are prerequisites and all, which lengthens this time, but for the sake of keeping excitement a float? We'll "ignorantly"skip over the small print ;) 

So my question to you. Online learning vs. Campus life. Which do you prefer? 

Back To The Lands Of Heat And Humidity.

So, we're moving again...

And not even to somewhere remotely awesome. Sigh. I've been dragging my feet on posting about this. You know. Because I might have been thinking, I'll wake up one morning and, it'll all be a dream? Yeah right... I hate it, because this goes against my usually positive self, but I fight a dreaded state of being at least once a week from this and I probably ask the hubby once a week if there isn't ANNNNNNY way we can get out of these orders. Sigh. But alas, we have orders in hand and so. We're moving. I know nothing about Louisiana, other than Duck Dynasty hails from it's swampy, hot, humid depths. WHICH, does give the state a bit of appeal :)  

I can't even think about how much I LOVE our current duty station, town, house and surroundings without being heart broken. We hadn't been in our new home more then 2 days when R got the news. I mean, seventy percent of our boxes remained packed still and we barely had the cable turned on! Any plans I had to Pinterest DIY projects for our new home? Gone. Talk about total buzz kill for nesting and unpacking. Sheesh.  

But, contrary to what I've said above, I've actually made 90 percent peace with the move...Even though I've come across like I'm upset and whining, my hearts just not in the whole "woe is me mode" anymore. That is until I talk with others who are going to places like Hawaii and Germany, ha! But honestly, we've had a few months to be sad, upset, dreadful and sad again so I'm over it. Most days. I think back on our first year in Washington and remember how unhappy I was with a lot of things here too. Obviously that has changed, as I've adapted, gave it a chance and made the unfamiliar, familiar. The same will happen at Ft. Polk too. I know it. 

 This move does mean good things for R's career though. He'll most likely pick up his E-8 as well as be non-deployable for the time we're there. Hello relief! Especially with this whole Syria business unraveling. I'm also happy, because this means I'll be a lot closer to my family. Still a 12 hour drive, but so much more do-able then the many miles apart we are, currently. There isn't anything around us at Polk, really, but if we're willing to drive 1-4 hours we can be in places like New Orleans, Houston, Lake Charles and Baton Rouge. I've always wanted to visit New Orleans and I hear Lake Charles is pretty neat so I can get excited for some road tripping and sight seeing! 

Those three years will be pretty quiet for us, it sounds like too. R will be home a lot (so we hear) and be working sham-tastic hours. So we're looking forward to just focusing on our little family, maybe consider adding to our family (no excitement from family just yet because we are still torn on this) as well as buckle down and knock out some serious undergrad credits. I've managed to find a few good groups on Facebook already which have been so helpful. I have to say, I've been blown away with the women on those pages! They seem so real, genuine, very low drama and very eager to meet new friends. I haven't really come cross that a lot in our other two duty stations. It could be the lack of going on's that makes everyone approachable and friendly, but either way, I don't care! R and I are horrible about making friends and staying connected, so Polk seems perfectly receptive for us to work on that. 

 January 2014, we'll be in our new state of residence and hopefully, pleasantly surprised and happy! Feel free to offer up any input if you've ever visited or lived in Louisiana or was ever stationed at Polk! Or well wishes and general "your going to love it" comments work too ;)

P.S If you love my photoshop skills here, let me know and I'll give you the awesome free template I found of the map. I dissected it quite a bit, for this post, but it comes with so much; originally an "Oh The Places We've Lived" template. Being military, I KNOW I'll be using it again and again. Let me know!      

Eighteen Months

Sugarcube, 

Today marks your eighteenth month of life and wowza, you're just so full of energy and sweet spunk these days! Each week you grow a little bit more in personality and skill, to where I often feel an extra breath is needed to keep up with how fast you're changing! 

You love being in the outdoors, exploring things like bugs, sticks, grass, trees and birds to name a few. Your favorite time of the day is when Daddy comes home and we load you into the stroller or your red wagon, taking the puppy's for their daily walk. You also love that we eat our fill of wild blackberries on these walks! Like most babies, you enjoy playing chase, tormenting the animals who are very good natured about it, dancing to all types of music, watching your favorite baby shows and walking (or running) through the house trying every phrase, voice range or giggle you can muster. It's very entertaining! One of my favorite things you do, is searching the house for flies and squashing them. I love it! We go around the house, in a sing song voice, saying "heeeeeeeere fly'ie-fly'ie-fly. We want to KILLLLLL YOU!" Once we find one, you'll yell out KILL IT (gee it) and then we do. Maybe a bit morbid but eh ;) It keeps you entertained and it's actually productive! Unlike all the messes you like to make, just as mommy finishes cleaning them up...

You talk sooooo much now baby girl. I couldn't even begin to count how many words you know. Some of your favorites are: drink (ink), kitty cat (kee ca), dada, mama, lights (ights), owl, cheese (eese), outside (ah si), hot, hi, bye bye, apple and cookie (kee). You also know phrases and commands like where is, what's that, say____, time for, wipe your ____ and lets go. You love to make animal sounds too. Some of your best ones are a snake hissing, elephant trumpeting, coyote howling, a kitty cat meowing, horse neighing, dog barking and dove cooing. And that's only just a few! As you can tell, mama is very proud of how well you talk and how intelligent you are! 

You have so many facial expressions too. You're a true ham! You've keyed into the fact that you can make mommy and daddy laugh, so you love to get our reactions on the daily. Sometimes that can be bad thing, ha! We certainly shouldn't find your little baby fluffs so adorable, but we do! And you noticed. So now you constantly go around trying to make yourself toot, and immediately look at us with the cutest, most innocent grin when you succeed. THAT is really hard not to laugh at!!! Oh my. What are we going to do with you baby girl...We just love you so much! 

You've certainly made friends with daddy again, since his return, which makes me sooooo happy. It took some time but we've really noticed the past 2 weeks a shift in who you think is the coolest. And it definitely isn't momma! I don't mind one bit. I love watching daddy get "most" of your sweet hugs and slobbery kisses where he missed out on so many during the deployment. You love sitting on daddy's lap while watching him kill space ships on the computer, getting so excited when one crashes and burns, haha! You both also enjoy making shadows on the wall with a flash light, wrestling on the floor and of course, playing chase! Playtime with daddy is just the best...Currently, some of your favorite toys are dinosaurs, little cars and trucks, your stuffed dog that rattles, the dogs leads because they chase you around the house thinking we're going for a walk, your musical piano and your peek-a-boo barn book on mommy's iPhone. You climb everything to chairs, beds, the kitchen table, toilets, couches and the coffee table. This makes me so nervous! I know one day I won't be able to catch you when you fall,  but keeping you off items is just impossible... 

Sleepy sleepy time (bedtime) is probably the sweetest moment of our day; a time mommy really looks forward to and not just because it means I'll have time to sit down... I've worked hard to establish a routine you can count on, knowing what's coming, so going to bed is NOT a battle of fit ands tears. We go upstairs with your blankie (nigh nigh) in hand, a bottle of warm milk, turn on your soft lullabies, the overhead fan, sit in the softest glider ever and just cuddle! You usually drink your milk, then we spend a few minutes, you cradled in my arms, where we explore each others faces and mommy does silly things like making bug eyes ( you die laughing) and trying to catch the baby's tongue. I love it! It really ends my day right where I leave your room smiling and feeling all warm, fuzzy and connected to my baby. Never stop being so fun and sweet Sugarcube. It's one of the best things about you! I hope this routine of our's lasts for sometime...   

Oh my, you are just so fun! Looking at this photo makes me smile so hard. You love to eat dirt baby girl, but apparently not today :) However, things you do love to eat are hummus, green peas, green peppers, chicken nuggets, mac'n'cheese, anything labeled a fruit including tomatoes, spaghetti, quinoa, cheese, anything bread like, eggs, pancakes, mini homemade pizzas, graham crackers, otter-pops and raisins. We try and explore new food combinations 1-2 times a week, which keeps mommy motivated to cook yummy dinners. This, daddy also loves and thinks is for him, but it's really for you baby girl ;) It's important to me that we keep you growing, eating healthy and expanding your love of good food choices... But shhhhhh...don't tell Daddy... it'll be our little secret!    

Your last well check up, done at 16 months, you weighed 22 lbs (putting you in the 28th percentile) and stood 32 inches tall ( putting you in the 70th percentile.) You are right on track for development skills and even ahead on some things, like eating with a spoon, drinking from a cup and all the words and phrases you say. Over the last 2 months, you've really perfected spoon eating and drinking from a cup, although you still take a sippy mostly and do a lot of finger food still. You've had seven teeth explode through in less than a month, where you now have 12 teeth! I felt so sorry for you baby girl, although you handled it like a champ, giving mommy yet another reason to brag on her baby :)  Right now we're working on identifying colors, shapes and body parts, counting to three and sorting. You love to learn and are so focused on the task at hand. Very much like both your parents!  

Daddy and I've been doing a lot of "future" talk... Touching on things like, who you'll be when you grow up. What things will you remember and like about us as parents. And what things will you throw out when you have children of your own. Its conversations like these that really make me appreciate you're still just our small, little baby, writing about your eighteenth month instead of your eighteenth YEAR! I really want to freeze frame this time with you, especially now... This age is such a fun period, as you develop your love of laughter, having fun and exploring the world around you. Never forget that Daddy and I love you deeply Sugarcube; more than we knew a heart could love! Thank you for being ours and thank you for being you; a fun, loving, sweet, impish, determined, intelligent, cuddly, absolutely beautiful baby! 

Lighter, Healthier, Happier (Part 2)

Just a quick moment, before we get into this read, to say thank you for the emails, comments and well wishes about my dad. He is in full recovery after having heart stents placed two days ago and currently under going 2 weeks of physical therapy. We are all SOOO relieved after a long week of slow and uncertain answers. GOD IS GOOD!

So last week, after writing a post about being Lighter, Healthier and Happier, I promised y'all a second post on what "saying no to the treadmill and yes to weights" has done for me! So, without further intro, here it is! Be warned. It's a long read ;)  

1 Year Pre-Baby 126 lbs                                                                        17 Months Post-Baby 128 lbs

Currently, I am wrapping up week 7 of Jamie Eason's Live Fit Trainer. Ever heard of it? Or of her, for that matter? I have to say. She is pretty awesome, along with her fabulous FREE program. I love that there are still good people out there, willing to share info without a buck attached to it. ESPECIALLY in the health and fitness industry. Everyone is always trying to sell you the latest and greatest. It's hard to know where to turn or invest your money! So when things like this come along, and there is no money involved, yet has countless, positive reviews from people who have followed the program... Well, that's just gold! But this wasn't meant to be a post about my Jamie Eason crush. So moving onto what I've done to loose the baby weight and tone up! I felt it was important to post a comparison of me at my thinnest, instead of me at my heaviest. I wanted y'all to see just how very little lean muscle mass I had before the kiddo. In the before photo, I was 126 lbs, using all cardio for my mode of fat loss and definitely not educated on the benefits of weight training and eating right. In the after photo, I am 130 lbs, 17 months post-baby, using weight training and light cardio for fat loss and VERY educated on how to fuel my body with the right nutrition. Thank you JAMIE and countless other articles found via Google!!  

2 Months Pre-Baby 137 lbs                                                              17 Months Post-Baby 130 lbs

  Jumping right in here, I can tell you, I definitely didn't start with weight training to loose the baby weight. (I really wish I had) but that typically requires the use of a gym and being a new, breastfeeding, mom who felt attached to the house, that seemed impossible at the time; there's such small windows of opportunity with a newborn. It literally was like, every 30 minutes SugarCube needed something. A nap. The boob. A diaper change. tummy time. cuddles and soothing because even she couldn't tell us what was wrong, ha! And that's just the baby. Forget about the household needs as well as your needs. So I did what I could! I dusted off my very under used (like only been on it 20 times in 3 years) treadmill for the first few months and actually lost 20 lbs. In that time, I made sure to eat very clean and lean while staying in the fat burning zone 45 minutes out of my day. But then I got bored of the hill, walk, run routine on the TM and decided I needed some more intensity. So I called in my boy Shaun T. We worked hard together 6 days a week for 2 weeks, ha! (I did a real dumb thing and gave myself some major shin splints, which hindered me from doing all the jumping and crazy none sense Insanity is known for ) So, then I decided I needed a new buddy. Someone who knew me better and would take it easier on my ankle. Someone who was KNOWN for at home resistance training vs jumping around like a monkey for 45 minutes a day. Ahhh yes. There you are Tony! P90X makin a come back. However, I didn't have a lot of the weights or the pull-up bar this program required, so I just selected 3 of Tony's dvd's, Kenpo, Plyometrics (definitely not as brutal as Shaun T's) and Ab Ripper, paired that with my trusty treadmill and in 1 month I lost another 7 lbs. Wow. But I still had 13 lbs to go before I would reach my goal weight... Sadly, those 13 lbs were put on hold for 3 months as I packed up our house, said so long to my hubby for 7 months, moved to Arizona, got through the crazy holidays and well into the new year.

This is where Jamie Eason comes in. Hubby had been deployed for 2 months at this point and hitting the weights hard in his absence. Hello even hotter hubby! He inspired me y'all. He was working so hard, eating as best as he could and well... When I'm around motivated people, I cannot help but be motivated myself. So instead of getting left behind, I decided to change with him. I knew this also meant that I needed to get uncomfortable...REALLY uncomfortable. You see. I have NEVER worked out in a gym before. So joining a gym for the first time, learning how to workout properly (alone) plus navigate the scary "MAN"side of the building while looking like a complete NUB! It was scary y'all! I was definitely feeling the pressure to run and try something, not so scary. But then my hubby told me about this awesome site called bodybuilding.com. And that was the game changer for me. 

Week 6 of Jamie Eason's Live Fit Trainer

I perused countless profiles of girls/mama's who also got uncomfortable at some point. They looked so strong and healthy in their after photos; possibly the happiest they'd ever been... And then I found Jamie Eason. Her program seemed to be the perfect fit for a beginner, and I was right. She really eased you into a structured workout regimen as well as hand walked you through the proper nutrition to fuel your body along the way. I WAS HOOKED! From day one, I felt the burn in my muscles and pride in myself. I also learned to like, sorta, the adrenalin feeling of being uncertain and scared every time a new lift or machine was introduced. Jamie's program changes every 2 weeks, you see. I would finally get comfortable with the routine and with my machines, but then she would change it again, and again I looked like a complete nub. But change is good and very important! I've learned that your muscles adapt quickly to a routine, getting bored, and eventually you stop seeing those huge gains your sweating your bunz off for. Not so good. 

After only 4 weeks of weight training, I started noticing a DEFINITE difference in the mirror and on the scale as well. I FINALLY had a lift in my derriere, where this gal has NEVER seen one before. I was that girl y'all. Complete pancake ass. But what could I really expect, when I LOOOOOOTHED squats and lunges and refused to see them for what they are... The GOD's of body sculpting, especially for a nice, firm rounded booty. I kick myself for such stupidity. All those years of hating my hinny and hiding it from even myself, when all it would have taken was bending at the knee! Moving on. I also saw other big changes in those short weeks, like leaner, sculpted arms and HEY muscles in my chest!?!? Even my back was expanding and my shoulders plumping, adding that extra "thin" look to my also shrinking waist. It was changes like this that kept me going. Which I can't stress ENOUGH how important it was for me to take progression photos along the way. I think I would have quite 10 times over, if it weren't for them. I'll admit, they are not always fun to take, especially in the beginning. But when you all of a sudden have that "after" photo or even an "in between" photo like the one's I'm posting today, you feel like you've accomplished so much more then you gave yourself credit for, just moments before. True story.

Week 6 of Jamie Eason's Live Fit Trainer

It has been a total of 4 months (with some breaks here and there) since I began weight training and I am astounded at the difference such little time can yield. I can tell you, and I hope you have figured this out for yourself or are willing to give it a try, but cardio alone will NEVER give you that shape your looking for ladies. Cardio is good at burning fat, but if there is no muscle underneath that padding, you will always have mediocre tone and mediocre satisfaction. I have done the eat less, do more cardio gig for ALL my life. I can tell you first hand, I never got the body shape I wanted. I literally thought, if I became skinny enough, then all these muscles, I haven't worked for, would just appear. I'd have abs and biceps and nicely toned legs. And a FIRM ass. PAH!! If only I could write a letter and send it back to young and uneducated Becca... It would say something like, "stop looking to rail thin models in magazines as fitness gurus for one. And when you get married, which you eventually will, listen to your husband when he suggests lifting a dumbbell instead of obsessing over that silly number on the scale." Had I of done that, who knows where I'd be!

I can't tell you where I plan to take this. But I can say, I am not limiting my body or mind! Right now, I'm just having fun. Enjoying my little bit of therapy each day as I sweat and exhaust every muscle and brain cell in my body. I definitely have an aggressive image in my head of what I'd like to see once in my lifetime though and it's definitely a strong, healthy, female hard body. But for now. I'm just enjoying the ride, happy to be where I'm at, yet moving forward!

 I will do another update when I'm finished with Jamie's program. I'm hoping these next 6 weeks, I'll see an even bigger difference in shape and tone. Although this week, with the stresses of my dad being in the hospital, has been horrible for my eating. Gotta clean it up if I want the results to keep coming ;) Thanks for reading y'all! Stay tuned for Lighter, Healthier, Happier (Part 3) where I'll be talking about the nutrition plan I've followed along the way! I'll leave you with one of my FAVORITE (altered) fitness quotes. This one really hits home for me and puts that fire in my resolve. I'm not going out with regrets or missed wishes y'all. ESPECIALLY when I AM the wish granter. HELL NO!

AGREED?! 

Currently...

I've always thought the currently posts are fun, so decided to try one of my own. I actually started this yesterday, the last one being from today...AMAZING how my mood can tank so drastically with just one day! Lol. 

Listening: to the sound of silencio and it is GLORIOUS. SugarCube is taking her afternoon nap which means I get to spend time with you lovelies! 

Loving: my new gym/running rubber! Although I'm not sure they love me back. I've had them for 3 days; little by little breaking them in on runs and at the gym. Sadly, my right hip has been in serious pain ever since. But I don't wanna return them. They're so pretty! 

Obsessed: with my zucchini plant and watching how massive it's getting. LOOK AT IT! I planted it where we get the most sunlight and it has just gotten HUGE! I've already counted seven squash. THIS makes me happy! duh. money saved at the store equals happy dance . We eat A LOT of zuch around here :)

Missing: my baby's sweet nature. She's been teething 2 ginormous molars this week which has turned her into a very emotional 17 month old. Poor thing. She's had a fever, blood blisters, congestion, sleepless naps and nights...I guess I'd be a bit cranky too if I had to deal with all of that... Luckily, they have appeared so I'm hoping "happy" baby will return soon ;)

Anticipating: The return of my favorite shows! I mostly like to watch "sweet" shows that do not leave me grasping for my teddy and night light at bedtime. Once Upon a Time sold me with it creative twists on those fairy tales we all love, where as Hart of Dixie is just cute. And easy to watch! However, the show Nashville caught my attention in it's first season last year. I was HOOKED after the first 5 minutes! This is by far, my favorite out of the 3. It's full of drama, yes. But I love it because I love country music. And it does have a lot of great music in it. I also might be a mushy romantic at heart and addicted to Scarlett and Gunner's love story. Le sigh...

Stalking: A box of honey wheat Ritz crackers. It's definitely not on the menu this week, and once I get started I have a hard time stopping. So I will a wait the hubby's return and then eat a few...I'm completely confident in his ability to tackle and (or) wrestle them from my grip should my "I don't give a crap if I eat this entire box" hunger monster appear. I love fail safes, ha!

Hating: That I live so far away from family. Especially right now...

Mourning: The death of milk in my diet and all the yummy things it makes! New york cheese cake, cheese in general, CREAM CHEESE, cakes, cookies and ice cream...AHHH! Can you tell my brain is on sugar at the moment?  I'm completely flabbergasted that after 28 years, I'm just now finding out I'm allergic! I mean really allergic. Thinking back, there were definite signs, but nothing like anaphylactic shock to get your attention, ha! I will be taking a moment of silence, to pay my respects this evening, as the reality of my situation just sank in... This sucks!

Trying: To salvage whats left of my day. You see. My morning didn't start out so great. Or rather, it started out okay but then got worse and I'm praying it stops between now and. oh. NOW. I always HATE when I wake up late. And today, that's how it started; 30 minutes late because I didn't hear my alarm, reminding me that there is this magic pill you take that discourages another bouncing bundle of joy. Oie! I wouldn't be so worried if this pill wasn't extremely low dose. Moving on. I get ready for the gym. feed myself. By this time SugarCube is awake and we go through those same motions for her. I down a pre-workout drink, grab the diaper bag in one hand and the baby in another and then realize I don't have my keys. Already 30 minutes behind schedule, I proceed to look around the house, in my usual spots, but there nowhere to be found. It's about this time that my pre-workout is kicking in and I realize my sweet child has gotten a hold of those damn keys and hid them. OH MY LORD. They could be anywhere!!! Pre-workout kicks it up a notch. Fidgety, must workout Becca is starting to appear. Forty minutes later, we find the keys in her junk drawer. A bit irritated. Okay a lot irritated but we get into the truck and off we go! Oh wait. The gas tank is sitting on "E." Another damn rolls through my brain but we fix that too, THEEEEEEN we go... Pull up to the gym and I instantly feel better because relief is just moments away. I drop the kiddo off in child watch, gave her butt a pat, said I love you and have fun! YES. The next 1.5 hours will be full of glorious sweat, screaming muscles, loud angry music and "ME" time. My day was looking up! However, fifteen minutes into my suffering, one of the daycare ladies taps me on the shoulder, because baby girl had a poop. Is it just my gym, or does your gym ALSO not handle dirty diapers? I think that is so strange but I handled it, not allowing the "you mid'as'well just go home" demon to win. I go back to my workout, pick up the barbell to finish those awful, AWFUL walking lungs and I kid you not. TEN steps into the set and this lady waves me down from the machine right next to the other machine I'm ALSO on. I unplug my, super awesome I don't hear a thing ear buds, and this is what I get. Lady: "Hey. Mind if I hop on that machine?" Me: Looks at the description on HER machine, a little confused, because I KNOW it's the EXACT same machine as I'm on. I quickly give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she doesn't know these machines are one and the same. So I respond with a smile "These are the same machines." Another smile follows from me, as if to say "It's okay. There's so many machines in here. I have a hard time keeping them all straight too." Lady gets up to change machines while giving me a, I don't give a crap about your superset routine and I'm not gonna back down, glare... Lady: "Yeah. I know. I just like that one better." WHAT!?!?! In case you guys are wondering, I was 2 SECONDS away from jumping back on that machine. And I really am considerate when it comes to super setting. I get that it annoys people. It's like hoarding cookies or toys or something. And I agree! To an extent... I think it's rude to super set when you have a hella busy gym or a particular piece of equipment that is mega popular, but that was NOT the case today...
I responded energetically "Oh! Yeah no problem. We can just trade." But inside I really just wanted to give her a wedgie, spank her spoiled ass and tell her to go home. Yes. I just said that. And you're welcome... I need to eat more carbs...

But I'm gonna reach here because I'm trying to dig myself outta this negative "GRRRR" pit...She probably wasn't intentionally trying to sabotage my superset and she probably really DID like that machine better and didn't think I'd mind her preferance. She also didn't know my nails have been whittled down to nubs, waiting/hoping to hear good news about my dads current, scary heart attack that landed him in Vanderbilt hospital 2 nights ago. Or that my day had ALREADY been full of invisible "you shall not pass" sludge... Ehh... Tomorrow WILL be better :)

I leave you with this...

Current FAVORITE saying of the day: "Squat that ass to the grass!" HAHA! That just tickles my funny bone ;)    

What is one pet peeve you have in the gym?

Lighter, Healthier, Happier!

After 14 months of on and off work and 17 months postpartum, I DID IT! 

BEFORE 166 lbs                                                                               AFTER 130 lbs

I've lost all of the baby weight (and then some) and even took it a step further where I've worked to get in the BEST shape of my life! I'll be coming back during the next few weeks to write posts 2 and 3 on everything I've done to get here, things I've learned and things I'd do differently! It's all just one one big learning experience :)  I just wanted to show y'all quickly what I've been up to in my blogging absence ;) See. I've been a productive mama!

I actually hit a point, 3 months ago, where I made it to 128 lbs. But having all four wisdom teeth extracted, the hubby's home coming and moving back to Washington, all in the space of 1.5 months, kinda put a halt on the gym. Sadly, I also allowed my eating to slide big time and it showed! Regardless though, I am back on track, hitting the gym 6 days a week and having the time of my life! Stick around if you'd like to see what, saying no to the treadmill and yes to weights, can do...

I Could Out Shine Mr. Sun On A Day Like This!

I have no direction for this post. Just warning you, ha! But this morning has been fabulous. The kiddo just went down for her 2 hour nap, which means I'm spending my coveted free time with y'all! Yes. Feel special. If you're a mom, you totally get what I'm talking about...In fact, you probably imagined me snarling my teeth and growling as I said "coveted free time." Am I right!?

I don't know. Today just had the feeling of sunshine and rainbows where I wanted to skip around and  sing "It's A Wonderful Life." While I AM an upbeat, positive individual most days (or at least I like to think I am) there are just days that feel more awesome then normal; where it feels like NOTHING can touch you! Admittedly, after typing that, I had a moment of fear. I also might have ducked my head, looking to the skies for signs of death by lightening??? I AM sorry if you experienced whats known as fearful association, just now, yourself. And for putting that evil on you, if you weren't already thinking it ;)

So why is my day so awesome.. Well it started with a kick-ass workout, which is always a mood booster! But while doing my fourth round of dishes this afternoon, it just hit me. I am completely blessed in life. I am happier then I have ever been. I have a wonderful child to call my own who is also happy and healthy. I have a marriage to be proud of and a husband who is, and has been, a source of strength for me. He has definitely added quality of life to my years, as it should be with one another! This realization has struck me many times in recent months and I'm not sure that I have the words to express it's emotional impact on me. Very blessed comes to mind... That someone sure knew what they where doing with the collision of our hearts. So yes. Life is good. I am blessed. And I cherish the day these two came into my life...

Excuse my daughters stoned expression :)

I won't stop there though! But only because I'm dying to share this news and maybe a bit premature but, Eh :) Blessing number 100,000,356 would be the FACT that I am returning to school. Let me just repeat that. I AM RETURNING TO SCHOOL! Y'all don't even KNOW how excited this makes me. Or maybe you do? I've worked all week (during baby naps) at getting applications submitted, fees paid, transcripts requested and FAFSA started. I have yet to receive my official college acceptance letter, but do not fear. I am getting that mug! I should have a letter in the next month. Mostly waiting on the 2-3 weeks it takes for my diploma to be sent over...*taps fingers*

I have tried going back to school in the past, but I have always hit road blocks, whether it be money, getting pregnant, lack of the right school with the right program. You name it... But this time, things feel so different. Two weeks ago I had a complete stranger (where I wasn't even digging or researching yet) drop the PERFECT school, for me and this military life, into my lap. And get this, she is actually in the degree program I have chosen. Can we say, inside track? I seriously have used her as my personal admissions and financial aid counselor the last week, lol! Sure beat the 20 minute wait times I was experiencing, trying to reach the school... So what will I be studying??? Well join me as I let out a HUGE sigh of relief. Because after eight years of being educationally MIA, I finally am 100% when I say I have found my passion and know the direction I need to be heading... I will be pursuing my undergraduate in psychology! But more importantly, a Masters in social work or counseling. I am leaning more towards social work... One thing is for certain. I WILL be working with children. Period. That's another post all on it's own. So let the long road ahead of me begin! I'm ready. Focused. Dedicated. I've got this...

So you see? Life is good! I seriously wouldn't be surprised if there were sunbeam rays, shining through my smile... AHHHH! But now that I've taken the better part of this 2 hour hiatus from baby, I need to get my bunz moving on folding these last loads of laundry. Ahh yes. The not so awesome part of my life ;) Thanks for listening y'all. I'll leave you with SugarCube who decided I mastered the art of mini pizza's today. because. duh. she's eating it. SUCCESS! Yet another cloud for my dancing feet...